Ten Things I Am Proud Of Myself For, Since Having My Daughter.

I sat and gave this some thought. It’s hard to think about what your proud of about yourself when you spend most days trying to make it through the day. Some days your upset and angry because you think about all the things you missed out on and there’s days when you are happy but sit and feel hurt about the days you weren’t happy. Having a mental illness is like a war going off in your own mind. You sometimes feel like your fighting a never ending battle.

I sat and thought about what I am most proud about since becoming a mother.

There must be something right.

Then I took one look at my little girl and thought;

1) She is the person she is today because of me. I am at home with her all day everyday since she was months old and she’s still here in one piece, fed, clothed and happy.

2) She has reached all her mile stones. It may seem silly but that makes me happy.

3) She saw me crying and told me not be be sad and that she loved me. I have raised a caring, empathetic daughter.

4) She turned to me and told me she was proud of me. We were sat on the sofa and she grabbed my face and said ‘mummy I’m so proud of you’ I cried and gave her a big hug. It shows me that she loves me and that she takes it in when I say I’m proud of her. She doesn’t just pick up on the negatives.

5) I managed to accept that I needed help and stuck with it. It was the best thing I did. I’ve never been good at opening up to people. I was always the agony aunt. Which is ironic, now that I blog about my most personal experiences.

6) I put this blog together to help other people suffering. Even though I’m not a successful blogger, recieving the emails from people saying that my blog post helped them. Having people ask for my advice, shows that I am making even a Small difference.

Which is what I wanted. Back in the day, when I sat at home and felt alone. I wanted to focus on helping other people that may be feeling that way.

7) Having my first piece published with the Huffington post and the happiful magazine. I was proud because the awareness I was trying to raise was out there. PTSD via birth trauma isn’t spoken about enough.

8) Managing to realise I needed time out. It took alot for me to walk out that door and leave her with hubby or my Mother in law. I felt sick with worry. I knew deep down she would be fine. I guess the PTSD clouds your judgement.

I had every worse case scenerio going through my head, I was even more worried because I wasn’t there. But after a while I realised she was fine and noticed that I was enjoying having a Cuppa on my own or going to the bathroom alone. Walking around a shop peacefully or going for a walk and having time to think. I went along to an Excercise class and started sleeping better.

9) Realising that my daughter is better off with me in her life than without. That I was meant to be a mother despite everything that has been thrown at us.

10) Cutting out the negative people in my life. People that didn’t understand and told me to get over it as there’s worse things that could of happened.

I decided To focus on my family and myself. To stop putting others first when it had a negative impact on myself.

How about you what are you most proud of about yourself since you found out you are suffering with a mental illness?

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11 comments

  1. I can relate to every point you had made minus the Huffington post one but it’s awesome that you did that so well done!

    I have suffered with anxiety since I was a child and assumed I would just grow out of it. It wasn’t till I tried to take my own life on my 21st birthday that they said I have GAD, depression and (most recently OCD). What am I proud of though? Well I never believed I was capable of doing anything worthwhile yet I completed my a-levels while I was pregnant, I am currently doing a degree with the Open University (with one year to go). I started this blog 4 years ago and gave up because I wasn’t succeeding quick enough and I had fallen out of love with the written word, the power to help people and show people that you are not alone. I have come to realise that things don’t just happen overnight, overcoming anxiety can’t be achieved overnight and nor can anything else really. But, what I am proud of is that my daughter is a kind loving child who gets on with all her class peers. She is hardworking and funnily enough, extremely confident. I am proud to say that being here has helped ๐Ÿ™‚ and I am extremely proud of who she is becoming

    Thank you for your post and sorry for the long comment :O x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Some fabulous things to be proud of, your daughter sounds adorable and the credit has to go to you as her primary caregiver. You should definitely be proud of all you are doing to raise awareness and of keeping going each day no matter how you feel.

    I am most proud of accepting my labels, of having depression and PTSD, of being a survivor, of kicking cancer’s butt(!). I am proud of my children, I am proud of them everyday when they try so hard despite their difficulties and I’m proud of accepting them for who they are.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a fantastic personal and heartfelt post. I can relate to everything and itโ€™s such a positive thing to do to sit down and write down all of the things that you are proud of doing as often we forget to give ourselves a pat on the back . Thank you for sharing such a great post โค๏ธ

    Melanie | http://www.frasersfunhouse.com

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  4. This is such a lovely post. Itโ€™s so important to look back and think of times where we have done ourselves proud. Being a mother isnโ€™t always easy but I love the moments when your child says or does something that makes your heart burst with pride over how kind/thoughtful/selfless they are!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Such an uplifting and positive post Kerry ๐Ÿ’–. It was so lovely to read your daughter is proud of you. You have achieved so many fabulous things, writing for the Huffington post is incredible! I would say you are definitely a successful blogger as you always share such supportive and inspirational posts which help so many people ๐Ÿ˜˜ xx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

    Liked by 1 person

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